I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
