i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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