I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
