doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She made me pour olive oil on her.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
