im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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