I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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