All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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