This girl is more easily done than said...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
