Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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