Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
