the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
