so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
that's an acceptable place to lick
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Man, jail baloney is awful.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Randomize
