I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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