dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
