were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You smell like stripper and shame
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
