plz talk dirty to me
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
