Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
