i think my mom watched the whole time
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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