i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
