a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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