haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
