was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
