It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
