i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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