Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
