if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
