oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Semen is not good for contacts.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
