He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
