He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
zippers are such a cool invention
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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