Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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