He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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