If i come over, it means nothing
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
