dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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