I bet he comes in French.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
