i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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