So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
