K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
