it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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