Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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