She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
