Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
