I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
