I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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