Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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