I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
