I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
