I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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