I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
