Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
