i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
