sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
