I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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