it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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