fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
