So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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