Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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