So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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