no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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