Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You can't special order awesome
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
