Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
