A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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