Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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