Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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