Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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