so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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